So this week has been filled with weird fertility conversations. Let me rephrase that. They are totally normal to me now but to the regular "normal" human out there, you would be totally grossed out and/or bored.
Here is a picture of Ralph to cleanse your palette before we start:
Here are the highlights:
1. One friend and I agreed that we hate going to the gyno because we just don't want to know what is wrong with us. And that we are constantly afraid that we have somehow contracted all of the bad STI's in the world (even though we've been with our spouses for YEARS AND YEARS with no one else) and these STI's have made us both infertile and will kill us and oh now we're childless and dead.
2. Another friend isn't calling it sex anymore--her husband is merely making "deposits" in her. Like going to the bank. Totally clinical.
3. I was trying to describe that I had pain in my right side to my husband and somewhat jokingly and somewhat seriously said I think my egg is releasing from this side. Which turned into an entire conversation about how little he knows about baby making. He was confused why I only released one egg per month and that it varies which side your egg releases from. He was also confused why I have two maybe three days a month where I can get preggers. I think I finally freaked him out with all of this fertility stuff when I said "we can have sex tomorrow otherwise we can just try again next month" (try again for baby making not that I only give him one shot a month---don't worry). And he also didn't know what a kiln was (on a totally unrelated pottery discussion).
4. I had a conversation with my friend about the consistency of cervical mucus this morning. I know--gross.