Friday, February 10, 2012

Baby Rabies

I have dreams where I am 7 centimeters dilated and about to give birth. I am not, nor have I ever been, pregnant. But I want to be. And I want to fill my home with children. I have the dreaded baby rabies.

Baby rabies is a condition that first appears around the age of 25 in women, and starts to obsessively take over the woman's rational mind as she nears 30. Jack Bauer is screaming "WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!!!!!" everyday in your ear.

I thought I would be farther along in my career by now. I thought I would have been married for years by now. I thought I would have bought a house by now. I thought I would have had millions of dollars by now. I thought I would have popped out a few kids by now. But none of this is my reality.

As I approach 29 (ACK--6 months to go)....I can't help but think that this is my time to have a baby. I feel like my parents were so much farther along by the time they were my age. I know I don't want to rush this decision since it will change my life, my husband's life, my family's life, and I will be responsible for this new life I'm bringing into the world long past the age of majority. I know I will be exhausted, and have days where I don't have time to shower, and have to give up part of my career. I feel this very overwhelming need to cradle and love a baby though that is overpowering my rational brain that says that my career needs to be my focus.

There are many stages in life. I think I am ready for mommyhood. I officially have the baby rabies and they are incurable!

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